- Brain the size of a planet, yet nobody appreciates you?
- Talented and witty, seen as arrogant acerbic?
- Want to look good, no clue where to start?
- More able than your colleagues, they get promoted?
I'm here to tell you
that it doesn't have to be this way. Nothing
is set in stone.
I was an Unhappy Geek
A complex mix of high self-esteem, low self-confidence and deep
neurosis. Pale, scrawny, unfit,
harsh, unpopular,
scathing and disdainful. I wallowed in this state and thought it was just the
way things were for me. This was my lot in life. Over the years though, I
got lucky. Life took me on a journey that forced me into constant evolution.
My Life Changed
I went from school to an engineering apprenticeship,
I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I was on a factory floor, working
lathes and milling machines, welding. My colleagues had a very different view
on life. These guys weren't into Star Trek. It couldn't have worked out better.
After my 4 years I was a lot more streetwise.
Following that I studied Computing Science at
uni as a mature student. Going from a harsh industrial environment to the
rather loose word of academia was a relief but again I had to adapt. I went
from being the clever one, to just another student. I got a bar job, in
Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, one of the party capitals of the UK. Engineering gave me
an edge, bar work opened my eyes to socialising, to girls, and especially aggressive Scottish
Hen-Do's.
I got into Athletics and met yet another group
of people. Disciplined, determined and not impressed by anything outside of
sport. I was decidedly average, my intellect recognised even less than at uni.
Again I learned new people skills but also self motivation and resolve. I embarked on a career in consultancy. Travelling
the world, often alone. Yet again, another change, yet more experiences.
Different cultures, different pressures, having to learn on the spot, often
thousands of miles from a support network.
Still I Stayed the Same
Despite this
life changing journey, I still wasn’t happy. I wasn't forming solid relationships, I
didn't like how I looked or who I was. I wasn't happy that I was a
Geek. This was the cause of all my problems, or so I thought. I wanted desperately to be seen as
'cool'. The fact I even used that word should have been an immediate red flag.
I
was constantly trying to be something else. I had learned so much but had concentrated on
external factors. Despite developing skills, changing and adapting to
everything thrown at me, I had never really looked inside. I hadn't accepted who I was. I would constantly fight against myself, denying that
I was a Geek. One day though, it all changed.
I am now a happy Geek
Still a
complex mix but now with high self-confidence, humility and only slight
neurosis. Healthy, fit, amiable, popular, complimentary and admiring.
One day I just stopped
trying and things started to fall into place. I'd reached a point in my life and my career where I stopped caring so
much what people thought. A weight was suddenly lifted from my shoulders. I
no longer had to spend effort trying to present an artificial front.
The 1 small step: You're a Geek. Accept it, Embrace it, Own it!
You are a
geek! Don't deny it or try to hide. Accept it, embrace it and use it to your
advantage. Allow it to help you adjust and change, but remember that none
of us will ever be happy if we are not being ourselves.
I've leveraged
my intelligence to help others, allowed my love of Sci-Fi to amuse people and
help build relationships, I used my obsessive tendencies to research ways
to improve. I The more i accepted the pros and cons of being a Geek, the
more comfortable i became in my own skin, the more I could focus on
improving other aspects of my life. Everyone can
do this, it just takes courage.
People will
respond differently to you. People can spot a fraud, we all know when something
is not right. They will be more comfortable with you. They'll no longer see you
as the arrogant nerd with a chip on their shoulder. They'll appreciate the
quirky and unique person you are and more...
- Your intelligence will be useful but won't define you.
- There will be a mutual appreciation between you and others.
- Confidence will not be a problem, you will look and feel great.
- You will achieve success at work by helping others improve.
Until next time…
Live long and prosper
February 03, 2020
Tags :
Change
,
Happiness
,
Mindset
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